Ever since our special revivals at Southern Harbor the end of March, thoughts about love, and family, and being there for each other have been drifting in and out of my mind. So when my cousin Sheldon messaged me last Tuesday asking if I would write something on the topic of "The Blessings & Benefits of Church Family," I thought, "Yes! Yes, I would love to do that." These thoughts had been simmering long enough and needed to be collected and written down! So here they are. I really felt like I didn't have much to do with it, that it just sort of wrote itself. It was as if God was telling me what I needed in my own life.
Loving With Our Eyes Wide Shut
(He’s not heavy, he’s my brother.)
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Psalm 103:2
Benefits, just the sound of that word has pleasant connotations! God has given us so many benefits; blessed
us richly beyond what we deserve! One of those benefits is our closely-knit church family. We love being
together, singing and worshipping together, and feeling like we are in the battle of life together! But with all
this togetherness, we get to know each other pretty well, just like we do with our own personal families. And
then sometimes it’s easy to forget that being a family is a benefit and not a bother. We step on each other’s
toes and get on each other’s nerves. We can’t understand why people do and say and think the things they do!
Walking along by ourselves in peace and quietness even looks more appealing and stress-free. We just want to
do our own thing! Surely, that would be a benefit. But no, stumbling along on our own in our own littles bubbles
is not God’s plan for us! Satan wants us each to view each other as “heavy” and something that we want to
walk away from, but God has another way. He wants us to have the attitude of the boy back in 1918 at
Father Flanagan’s Home for Boys. When he was asked if carrying another boy who had had polio and was
wearing leg braces was hard, the boy replied, “He ain’t heavy, he’s m’brother!” We need to decide to love with
our eyes wide shut. Not excusing or making excuses for sin, but consciously overlooking each other’s petty
faults and humanness, just like we want others to do for us. Several years ago, Minister Shawn Becker told us
to think the best of each other! Especially of those of whom we say we love. Assume the good and doubt the
bad! When we want to feel overly reprimanded we can decide to think, “She’s not critical, she’s my mother in
Israel, and I’m so glad she’s looking out for me.” And we can go and ask her for more advice when we don’t
know what to do. When one of us is down and out again, we can say “He’s not needy, he’s my brother and I
want to sit with him in his darkness.” We can’t take away the burdens that our church family members carry,
but we can let them know that we know they have a heavy load and that we care. Sometimes just knowing
that we are seen and heard is enough. We can squelch righteous irritation by thinking, “She’s not flighty, she’s
my young youth sister with a heart full of dreams just like I used to have.” And we can tell her that we’ve
been there, and that it’s hard to trust your future to God, but it really is the best way. When we want to
sigh and plug our ears instead of hearing again about the horrible condition of the present world we can
remind ourselves, “He’s not a doomsday prophet, he’s my father, who’s handing down the faith of our
fathers.” And we can choose to empathize with our elders because deep down, they probably feel scared and
helpless because things are so different today than in the world they grew up in. When we can truly love with
our eyes wide shut like God loves us, we will fully reap the benefits of being a whole-hearted member of our
church family. People grow well when they are loved well. We can give grace and grow in grace! The benefits of
this attitude will be never-ending. Like Paul advises in Colossians 2:2-3, “That their hearts might be knit
together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgment of the
mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and
knowledge.”
Let’s all remember that, “We aren’t heavy, ‘cuz we’re family.” We are all just walking each other home with our eyes wide shut.
Written by Sharon Faircloth 4-22-21
